saga/title/fandom: Don't Wake Up chapter nine
rating/genre: (adult) - romance
warnings: slash, language, heated sexual content
summary: X comes home to Los Angeles to square things with his friends after being gone for months and end up getting more than he could have dreamed.
comments/disclaimers: Standard Disclaimers apply.
Xander frowned and rubbed at his head. Great! Now I’m hearin’ shit!
He groaned softly at the pathetic situation of wanting his best male friend and not having the courage to do anything about it. “Fuck!”
“Xander? Ya okay?”
A hand dropping onto his shoulder made him jump. He gasped and sat straight up in bed.
“X, what’s wrong?” Matt’s soft purr of a voice sounded from the pillow beside him.
“Matt?” His brain felt like fuzz, like someone had just taken a good crack at it, but hadn’t managed to bust it open all the way. Is it possible to wake back up into a dream?
Matt rolled onto his back, blinking up at him, obviously confused. “What?”
“Am I awake?”
Matt sighed softly and smiled, understanding finally. “Yeah, you’re awake. Come here.” He held the blanket out of the way as an invitation.
Xander couldn’t refuse. He felt ridiculous. Like a small child going to its parents after a nightmare and crawling into bed with them. He didn’t give a shit. And he felt like he had just woken from a nightmare.
He brought his head down on Matt’s chest, feeling his arms close around him. The steady beat of the heart beneath his ear made him sigh and snuggle closer.
“What the hell are you laughin’ at?” X growled, feeling uncomfortable for needing this man.
“You, of course.” Matt’s hand found his head and rubbed.
“Fuck you,” Xander told him, his voice slightly muffled.
Matt chuckled, “I’m sorry. I’m just seeing a new side of you.”
And Xander wasn’t real happy about that. “Yeah, I saw a new side of you too.”
“Touché.” He fell silent then, his hand still brushing X’s scalp. Xander was content to lie listening to the dull thud of Matt’s heart. After a while Matt asked, “So ya gonna tell me where they took ya?”
“Ya gonna be pissed if I say ‘no’?” Xander asked.
Xander smiled. Well, at least he’s honest. To Matt he said, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Xander sighed, “I was taken into custody by the NSA.”
Matt frowned, “The NSA doesn’t arrest people.”
“I didn’t get arrested.” He said softly, thinking of the stupid diner. “I got...tested.”
Xander lifted his head to look down at Matt. “The NSA was losing agents to some radical gang in Prague. They sent me in to get to know them cuz they figured a criminal wouldn’t suspect a criminal. And they figured I’d rather do that than sit in jail for the Senator’s Corvette.”
Matt’s brows came together as if he were thinking. “You…are a secret agent for the NSA?”
Xander grinned, “Told ya you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Oh, I believe you, I guess.” He glanced away, one brow quirking slightly, making X think he really didn’t. “So to get out of going to prison you were sent to Prague to save the world?”
Xander chuckled at the way Matt asked, “Yep. Kinda.”
Matt smiled up at him, “Ya didn’t have to make somethin’ up just cuz ya didn’t wanna tell me where you were.”
“You lousy son-uva-bitch,” Xander growled. “I told ya you wouldn’t believe me.”
Matt’s hand was pulling him down and he went willingly, his mouth connecting with the other man’s. They explored each other roughly. Xander groaned at the intensity. He thought of his dream, nightmare, of waking up alone at home, and deepened the kiss, his body moving so he could lie against Matt.
Matt groaned into his mouth at the new contact. Their erections slid together side by side between the press of their stomachs. He ground against X, groaning again, and then was pushing at his shoulders. “Lay down.”
Xander obeyed, rolling off of him to lie on his back, watching the other man rise. “You’re not gonna...”
“Do what you did to me?” Matt finished. He leaned over and grabbed the lotion from the bedside table before rolling back towards X. “Don’t wanna hurt ya.”
Xander frowned at Matt, watching him crawl onto him to hold himself directly above X. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Matt’s look turned thoughtful, “It didn’t hurt that much.” He closed his eyes, a small smile curving his lips and their bodies mutually began moving together. Xander’s hands pulled Matt down so he could feel the length of his arousal grinding into him, and vice versa. “It was just very full,” Matt continued.
When their mouths met they sighed into one another. Their tongues slid over each other, much like their cocks were doing.
After a long heated moment Matt pulled away, his breathing heavy. “Stop it. You’re gonna finish before I can even get down there.”
Xander smiled, “You like sayin’ shit to shock me, don’tcha?”
Matt just smiled and moved down X’s body.
Xander closed his eyes, not wanting to see Matt between his spread legs. What the hell am I doing? He smiled when he realized the more important question was: what is Matt doing?
Matt managed to answer his question. He was obviously not gonna beat around any bush. Xander was suddenly gasping and gripping handfuls of the blanket. Matt without preamble slid his mouth down X’s cock while at the same time his freezing lotion-covered fingers began probing him.
“Aww, shit, Matt! What the fuck!?”
“Mmmm?” was Matt’s only answer, and he could have done without the vibration of sound from Matt’s sucking lips. He groaned and shifted against Matt’s questing digit.
When Matt found the entrance to his body and unhesitatingly pressed inside Xander cried out hoarsely again. What the fuck! He remembered to breathe after a moment and realized Matt had been right. It didn’t hurt. It was one of weirdest things he’d ever felt, but it wasn’t bad. But then he didn’t have a dick in him yet either.
Xander grunted when Matt began stroking gently into him. The bobbing of the mouth on his aching erection was in time with the thrusts into him. He moaned in frustrated denial when his hips started moving to the same distressing cadence.
Matt chuckled around his cock at Xander’s sudden participation. He pulled his finger from X’s tight orifice, making him sigh in…relief? But just as quickly he was steadily forcing into him again with two slick fingers.
“Awwwwww, Matt.” He squirmed against the full feeling invading him. It only took moments of Matt sliding in and out of him for his depraved body to pick up the rhythm again. He groaned thickly, as much in denial as from the unwelcome pleasure.
Matt was stroking deeply into him, knuckles thumping against his ass, his hot mouth relentlessly pulling at him. Suddenly he tensed, his eyes opening wide. No!
He could feel his muscles clutching at the intrusion inside him. His body shook with his withheld climax. No! He’d gotten head before, of course, and there was no question that this was different. For Christ’s sake, there was something inside him! And there was no question that he was gonna…
“Uh, God, no!” He literally convulsed, his breath forcing out of him. Did he make a sound? He wasn’t sure. His body arched against the bed, and he had no idea if he hurt Matt or not. Reality actually faded as he stiffened almost painfully, his white-hot seed shooting out of him.
He had no idea how long he laid there. When he could he rolled onto his side, wanting to hide from…everything. He had no idea where Matt was and he honestly didn’t give a shit. He felt disgusting and violated, and…so disturbingly wonderful. And he hated himself for it. Now that he had done it he was glad that he could at least stand it, but did he have to fucking like it?!
He was attracted to Matt, there was no question of that. But it wasn’t fair! How could he hate being with the one person he loved? That just didn’t seem right. And now… He hated the idea of having something inside him, but now he found out that he enjoyed it! What a sick fucking joke! He’d just had the best orgasm of his life because Matt had done something to him that he hated! His stomach rolled in disgust at himself, and he swallowed the feeling of wanting to vomit.
“Are you okay?”
Matt was standing right beside him. His voice was that soothing low purr that he loved so much. “No.” With his eyes closed he didn’t see Matt smile at his petulant tone.
“Did I hurt you?”
Xander groaned. Great! Now, ya got the guy thinking he raped ya. But that was exactly how he felt, like he’d done something against his will. Yeah, ya liked it! That was against you will!
Xander tried to turn his face into the blanket, hating that his friend was looking at him. “I liked it,” he sneered.
Matt actually fucking laughed! Xander’s eyes flew open to glare at his friend. “What the fuck’re you laughing at?”
Matt continued to chuckle, seemingly unbothered by his anger. “You.”
Xander growled and sat up. “Fuck you, Matt.”
When he started to rise Matt shoved him back down, his expression serious again. “Sit the fuck down and shut up!” Xander was surprised enough to obey. “What the fuck did you want? Did you want to hate it, and then hate me for doing it?”
Xander winced, for in a way that’s exactly what he had wanted. “No.”
“I’m sorry you liked getting fucked in the ass, X,” Matt continued. “Shouldn’t’ve used the lube. You’da been happier if I ripped ya up, huh?”
Xander couldn’t prevent the smile at hearing the absurd thing his friend was yelling at him, but he still refused to look up at Matt.
“Pretty fucking stupid, huh?” Matt asked.
Xander nodded, his lips pressed together thoughtfully.
Matt shrugged, “Then get over it. I can’t make it pretty for you.”
Xander watched his lover walk away from him and slam the door into the bathroom.
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